Motherhood, Perspective

Love is Something that We Do

I have 4 children ages 7, 6, 2 and 8 months. They are obsessed with me.

They follow me into the bathroom even though its too small for more than one person. They maneuver past my legs and find a space to sit and watch me. If I’m brushing my teeth, they want to brush theirs too. If I’m putting on makeup, they want to hold the brushes. If I’m sitting on the toilet, they ask over and over again, “Are you going number one or number two, mommy?” They follow me into the shower and demand to wash my body as I wash theirs.

They kiss me in the morning, before I’ve even brushed my teeth. They never act disgusted. They beg me to sing to them and lets just say that they are the only ones who like it when I sing. They tell me I’m beautiful when I’m sick and my eyes are bloodshot and I’ve been wearing the same pajamas for days.

When they hurt themselves, I’m the first person they look for. When they’re sad, they want me to hold them. When they’ve learned a new trick, they want to show me, over and over again. When they’ve done something they are proud of, I’m the first to know.

It’s an honor.

Sometimes, it’s a lot. It feels like too much. I ask them to give me five minutes. Five minutes of quiet. I tell them, “Mommy needs a minute.” Sometimes I yell at them.

They should get mad at me for yelling. They don’t. They love me more and hold me tighter. They squeeze into the tiny space on the couch between the baby and the pillow. The space that’s not big enough for anyone to sit. They lean their head on my shoulder. They put their hands on my face and demand that I see them. God, they’re beautiful.

Sometimes I hurt their feelings. But they never withhold their love from me. They forgive me every time.

They’ve taught me a lot about love and how to do it.

Little Luke listens to this song on repeat . . .

“Love isn’t something that were in, it’s something that we do.” -Clint Black

If we could all love ourselves and each other they way our kids love us . . .

Update: Luke got home from school today and put this song on. I was reminded of these lines: “It’s holding tight, it’s letting go, it’s flying high and laying low. Let your strongest feelings show and your weakness too … love is deep and love is long” YES.

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