Advice, Improvement, Perspective

The People Around Us

Photo courtesy of Gervase Kolmos

Being around inspired, visionary, enthusiastic people who are living their truths is one of the fastest ways to massively transform your life -Jen Sincero

While I’ve decided not to actively pursue another career right now, I am getting out of my comfort zone by meeting new people and attending events tailored to moms and “mompreneurs.” I’ve been slowly finding this community of interesting local women who are balancing mom life with careers that they are passionate about. This is my ultimate goal so it’s been inspiring to listen to their stories. (I’ve done a lot of this by following them on Facebook groups, Instagram and podcasts. Email me for details if you are interested.)

Surround yourself with people who act on their big ideas, who take action on making positive change in the world and who see nothing as out of their reach . . . Get out there and find some people who make you feel like you can leap tall buildings in a single bound. Be clear on who you want to meet and make a concerted effort to go meet them.  -Jen again!

As I read this, I can’t help but think about how I can apply this to motherhood and teaching my children about relationships. It’s important to seek out the right people in your life. Fleet comes home often complaining about a person who won’t play with him. I usually tell him that there are so many people in the world, find those who want to play with you. Don’t waste your time worrying and feeling bad about those who won’t. As my kids get older, I know that this conversation will become more intricate and important.

I know that seeking out the right people will make a difference for me. If you are looking for friendship, find people with similar values and interests. If you are thinking of starting a business, find those who are successful in your field of interest. If you are struggling in your marriage, look for a friend who navigated those hard times or who has the same values related to marriage. Don’t seek advice from people who aren’t qualified to give it.

For now, I am seeking out women who are juggling motherhood and careers that they are passionate about. I’m soaking up their stories as I’m working on my own.

Last week I attended an event hosted by Gervase Kolmos of the Mommy Soul Tribe (I’ve mentioned her before). As a certified life coach, she hosts monthly events designed to create community and acceptance among women, especially moms. At the event, a woman shared her story of surviving cancer and the truth of what that looks like – the ugly and the beautiful. Many people in the crowd could relate in some form or another. One insight that Gervase had was that we don’t have to act positive (always upbeat, cheerful, able to see the bright side) to successfully navigate tragedy and hard times. I thought back to when we were navigating Luke’s heart defect and how sometimes it wasn’t possible to be optimistic and happy. We were going through a shit time and sometimes it’s okay to feel that way. On the flip side of that, there are always silver linings and the focus that Luke’s heart defect brought to my life was one.

Anyway, the introvert in me has a hard time attempting meaningful conversation with new people. However, I walked away from this event feeling proud of myself for getting out my comfort zone. It was cool to sit around with other women who are looking for friendship and support.

There is another organization here in Charleston called Hatchtribe that hosts monthly events for working women, specifically entrepreneurs. I haven’t gotten to attend one yet so I don’t know if I will like them but I’m interested and think this could be a good resource.

Last Saturday, my mom and I attended a really meaningful event. It was perfect timing for what has been going on in my world. Listen To Your Mother (LTYM) is a collection of stories told by different women about their experiences with motherhood. There were stories about being a mom and having a mom, told by both women and men. The stories were amazing. There were about 4 that I really connected with- anything from the daily craze to the significant moments of motherhood.

The story with the strongest impact for me was told by a woman who was dying of breast cancer. Her story was a love letter to her children. As she spoke to each one, she looked up and found them in the audience. She choked back tears as she tried to express her love through words. There wasn’t a dry eye in the church. She talked about her decision to stay home to raise her children and how even though it was tough, she was grateful to have made that choice. She talked about deciding to have her third baby. She described this baby as the child she never knew she needed. That’s my baby #4. Though he isn’t here yet, the idea of having 4 children is very overwhelming. While he was a surprise to us, I have no doubt that he is meant to be. I have no doubt that he is going to make our lives better. I have no doubt that it will be tough but worth it. I know that at the end of my life, I will not regret this time and the sacrifices that Luke and I will make to do what is best for our family.  Sometimes my hormones and anxiety get the best of me. But I know it’s true. I know that this baby will bless us in ways that we can’t imagine. I am going to be open to that.

So, I’m putting myself out there. I”m meeting people. I’m finding motivation and sisterhood in likely and unlikely places. If you are like me and don’t really know what you want, it can’t hurt to search for it. And like me, you might find some good nuggets of inspiration and  information a long the way. While I’m not pursuing a career, I hope to be ready for it when the time comes. And if I sound like a crazy person to you, GOOD, that probably means that I’m doing something right!

The LTYM stories will probably be posted on You Tube but they weren’t up yet. Follow this link to see past year’s events.

And I’m going to be keeping it light for the rest of the week! Ha!

Email me at laurenskijones@gmail.com or contact me through the social media links at the top right of the page.

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